Wednesday’s Women

Today I am recommending you get to know the author, feminist, and blogger, Peggy Orenstein.

Have you read Cinderella Ate My Daughter : Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture?

Great title, right?

Great informative read, too. It’s one of those books you are happier for reading as a parent so you are armed with information. It’s not like I can spew out the data it provides. I wouldn’t say the book is data heavy but I would say it has a lot of numbers. These numbers include percentages about Disney marketing and other large companies that market products to children.

So I can’t spew out the data facts but I can feel more informed about exposing my kids and other people’s kids to all the screens, the products, the stuff that is out there.

Sorta of ironically or coincidentally, I am writing this post about a week after I’ve made a hot reservation at Cinderella’s Royal Table in Disney. It’s hot because for some reason I was compelled to wake up at 5:55 am one morning to make sure I got that reservation! And get it I did. My daughter is not even into pricesses so much anymore and she didn’t go thru the phase of needing to wear a tiara or princess dress everywhere. Skipped that. But now she is older and we are taking our first trip to Disney so we gotta do as you do and of course, I believe she will love it!

Peggy Orenstein has a new book coming out and based on reading her take on Cinderella, I can’t wait to read her take on this topic!

Girls and Sex: Navigating the New Complicated Landscape

Now to not mention how I first came to know Peggy Orenstein through her writing would be leaving out a big gap. Prior to her first book (Waiting for Daisy) being published, I had read an essay of hers in the New York Times Magazine (I think it was there) about her struggles with infertility. I was newly married and not “trying” to get pregnant.

The piece was memorable. It was sad. Very sad. And very uplifting at the same time. She weaved in stories of her hardships with the light she somehow saw at the end of a very long tunnel.

Skip a year or two and I faced my own struggle. It was a dark time trying to get pregnant the first time. I don’t wish that type of darkness on anyone and I barely struggled compared to other women, lots of women, I have come to know. It was dark and depressing and I had never used the word dark to describe anything that had happened to me in my life before. This was about things NOT happening. Doctors’ visits were happening. Reading about fertility boosts, reading about fertility success stories, reading about fertility evaluations, medications and procedures – that was happening. Learning what an reproductive endocrinologist was, happened.

For the brief amount of time I was not getting pregnant I was able to see a light. I was able to believe things were going to be ok. It would work out. It was the only way I could get through. I didn’t have time to doubt it.

Of course, I had my moments and like I said, I would describe it as a dark time. I embraced that aspect of it. When I came to realize, “Wow, this is super depressing”, I was able to function better.

Does that even make sense? To me it does. When you can acknowledge the feelings, the momentousness of the moment and moments, it makes putting one foot in front of the other, or seeing your friend with two children become pregnant accidentally, easier.

And I do believe I was helped out a bit by having read Peggy Orenstein’s essay.

21 Photos Of Moms Who Are All Done With The Dumb Mommy Wars

Yup. Mommy Wars are Dumb.

I have this thing that if something is really dumb I will just spell it the wrong way. And mommy wars, they are dum.

I do go back and forth on some aspects of Mommy Wars though.

  1. Sometimes I don’t even believe they exist.
  2. Then someone says to me, “Oh, we can’t have a playdate because. . . don’t you work?”(SAHM not wanting to playdate with non-SAHM)
  3. But really. If someone wants to judge someone else, shouldn’t we just let them? By calling it Mommy Wars aren’t we then judging the judgers?
  4. Talking in a loop, talking in a loop, talking in a loop.
  5. Can’t we get that some things in life work better for other people? Can’t we understand everyone has their own history of what being a mom is and what kind of mom they want to be and let’s just be cool with that?
  6. I mean, even the parents who want to create this black and white-ness of good moms and bad moms. Um, ok. . . let them.
  7. Go For It!
  8. To everyone else: Just be nice!



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