I don’t eat pie on Pi Day. Nor do I usually call it Pi Day (3/14) but it rhymes with why so right now I’ll call it Why Day.
The “why?” is “why didn’t I post anything in February?”
It’s a dark month to begin with in the best of years. The NorthEast gets the Februarys pretty bad. Grey days. Short amounts of daylight. Winter.
This year it was made darker by the leader of the free world (Trump) and the leader of my world (me).
It turned dark for me, by me due to a small injury. It’s a regular just being a body injury and a body that was in some pain. It stopped me in my tracks although my tracks take longer to stop. So after about two weeks of suffering it was only then I realized, “Oh I should slow it down.”
I didn’t. But I tried. And then the pain went away. It’s been back in March but in lesser degrees.
I’m not going into the politics of policies or the politics of politics. Could there be anything more descriptive of the run arounds, bureaucratic BS involved with politics than stating that there are politics to politics? I think that phrase should be a thing. It demonstrates the catch 22, the damned if you do, damned if you don’t aspect of what I imagine it is like to govern a polarized mass of constituents.
So, dark days lead to overwhelming days which lead to reading too much & then reading too little. Then sitting down and thinking and then sitting down and not thinking.
Self-care has been the act of ignoring the world.
Then there was the feeling bad about not being informed. And then I’d be talking to friends about what they know to get myself informed and then there’s the constant trying to protect myself from over thinking at any time.
So yeah. Anxiety and shit.
But then today, there’s been little moments of taking action.
I’ve been seeing progress perhaps feeling it towards more resistance. Resistance that matters.
And I felt like this needed to be posted because it has little to do with anything but it’s culture. It’s a part of letting go by being entertained, by remembering a great movie and a great book. By thinking of childhood. It’s part of my world.