Swirl

I am in the middle of reading a book titled, Today Will Be Different and that is what this September feels like. This transition will be different.

I will take deep breaths, I will stay calm, I will be patient.

This will be different.

So then it begs the question. Can “this” change?

Change is change. From summer to fall, it’s change. Why should this change be different from the last change? What makes this change so g’ damn special?

It’s because there is a swirl of activity this time. There’s a new season, a new school year, new routines and ultimately dare I say, a new you! And while all of that is happening, there is devastation from weather, memories of 9/11/2001, and a president of the free world who is like a ticking time bomb. With all of these, you don’t know what is going to happen from moment to moment but you know you are not going to like it.

For the most part, you ignore THAT part of your world and focus on a new school year with a new approach to the morning routine, a new backpack for one little person in your house, a new outlook for another little one.

And that swirl can help you ease through the transition. A part of the new routine is taking in information about our country and state politics and discerning when to be concerned. When to stress. When to vent to your partner and friends about it. In this new swirl, the new age when you try to resist the normalization, how do you then ease into the transition of a new season while wanting to go back to normalcy but knowing the reality is that you cannot?

As a parent and a juggler of all of these different personas I take on, the mom role, the work role, the daughter role, the sister role, I often use the term compartmentalization. It is taking all these pieces of you and knowing when they should come out and when they should relax and take a backseat. Now throw in being the adult (when you still feel like a kid) and projecting that grown-up ness to your children all the while trying to normalize their new day to day and new school year filled with new classmates, new teachers and new routines, while you are trying to not think too much about the changes going on in our country. The fact that you have to look it in its two eyes and see what it is really made of. Is it the resistors who will win or the others?

I don’t want to give these others a name. They only give me, as a woman and a Jew too if I am being honest, names I don’t like. Second class citizen, trouble, weak. You get the picture.

Swirl indeed.

Swirl away swirl and let me know when you have calmed down so I can stop trying to NOT normalize what isn’t normal. Today will be different. Today IS different.

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