Oh gosh

The world changed. It happened slowly and then it was so fast.

On February 29 I was unsure if a visit to NYC was in my future in 5 days.

Next thing I know I was there and then I was home in VT in less than 48 hours.

And then there was a week of school for my kids and then they were done. Just done.

Are timelines interesting at this point?

It’s been almost 50 days of life in isolation.

The state shutdown from about March 20 until May 15.

That re-opening is about two weeks away.

It feels like it will come fast.

Already we are seeing the light. Or are we?

Well, as I discussed with a close friend last night, it all depends on who you speak with. So much of this pandemic is on a case by case basis.

Rich poor, sick healthy.

Alive.

Dead.

There have been so many lives lost.

So many businesses are no more.

So many people unemployed and unsure of where their next paycheck will come from. The least of this all is our kids’ not in school. What is school anyway?

Actually that is not the right question but this situation does broaden the definition of school and it broadens questions. The questions to ask and answer.

School is a place where kids learn, yes. But it’s also where children socialize and see one another. There are smiles and hugs and pushing and sliding and playgrounds. They learn how to be compassionate and empathize and be bored and stretch their minds and they learn what they like and what they don’t like.

A proper homeschool situation can do that. When you are quickly cordoned only to your home and then well, it’s a school, well that is not a proper homeschool situation.

The teacher is not in. The teacher has other things going on.

So, the world out there is a new one and we will slowly dip our toe into seeing it and being a part of it.

What if I don’t want to be?! Here’s a scenario:

I chose the old world and so I will create a new new one. (not at typo. . . I am not chosing the new world that will come from this pandemic but creating a third one)

In this one, I will stay in my house for as long as I can. I will not socialize. I will not smile.

I will offer kindnesses, sure and compassion, yes and online funds to hot spots that need money to exist.

But I will not be part of the new world.

I will shed my old skin.

That person who needed to be around others. I will come up with other ways to get my rejuvenation.

I will have to curtail the amount of friendship support I need in person. That way, when I do come to the new world and contact and socializing is smaller both in the amount of time spent with others plus the number of people time is spent with is changed, I won’t feel as lost, less like myself and less happy.

That is changing for a broken world.

Being adaptable and finding ways to make the new world work.

We’ve always had to be adaptable to changes in our world. We grow from a child to a teen to a young adult and to adult and then to parent. We are always changing. Humans are changers.

This new world is us, humans, doing what we do. If we look at it that way, it’s less overwhelming.

The sadness and the feelings though: Those don’t go away.

We don’t change and have less of them. We have to sit with them more than ever before. Less time with others means we are with ourselves more than ever.

So our actions might change but those feelings stay and those feelings are not good.

So what to do with those feelings?

I don’t know yet.  I wish I did.

 

 

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